?

Log in

No account? Create an account
My will be done - seyewailo [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
seyewailo

[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ archive | journal archive ]

My will be done [Jan. 25th, 2008|04:40 pm]
seyewailo
[Tags|]
[Current Location |Thermalia (living room)]
[mood |enthralledenthralled]

I've been thinking more about the Feri idea of will and how it is present in D/s. One of the responses to my last post used a great metaphor. She knew she was the ocean, and was trying to understand that she was not the ship. It is how it feels when I'm topping. I feel like I am being lifted, like the forces that are in play are like tectonic plates sliding past each other.

I had said that in the times when the connection is really there, when a submissive kneels the first time, I am left staring at something that looks like a shadow with a star inside. I am confronted with their godself, and I realize that I stand taller, like there is another force that lifts me in that moment.

I don't know that we really understand will. We tend to think of it more as desire. In Diamond Heart/Ridhwan they talk about it as the Himma. The part of the soul that works toward its own liberation. Nothing can stop it or stand in its way. I think of it in those times when I really don't want to do something that needs to be done. I know I will do it, because I must, because I have no choice. Strangely enough, this is often the opposite of how many Feris think of will, as choice. But in those moments when you must follow your will, you know this mystery. That you must follow it. You cannot betray your true will. It will not let you.

It is the true will, the holy will, and it drives us forward toward our own freedom. The submissive is called to this place, to make the Domme whole, to lift her up with the power of the ocean, the earth, the fire in the earth. This is not a doormat. The sub allows herself to flow, to become pure power, and gives that gift to the Domme, to do with as She chooses.

I have had the real privilege to play with some amazingly powerful women in this way. They are definitely the ocean. But my first experience with D/s was with a man. He was this huge strong guy. I remember feeling that high, that I had taken in my hand this incredibly powerful being's desire. It is a lot like doing magic, of feeling the power flow through you into the world, directing it. A submissive is not powerless. They are power.

It is as though the bottom generates the power and the top directs it. Receptive and Directive.

So lots of people would probably just respond that they have both and are more unified and don't need to do this. Ok. Nothing wrong with that. Some of us just like to live life dangerously. It seems bizarre that any Feri witch could be critical of that decision.

I don't see my being a witch to be about constantly doing spells and imposing my will on the world. My will is the world. I stand on the cliff and listen in the wind, until I can find where the flow is, see the current. Then I jump on. Every spell is simply a different cliff. I find that I can do little by force, and everything by listening.

So it is when you are doing D/s. In that state, I can feel every breath, know every movement, and watch the living story that is written in the flesh of the other person. Listen to their rhythm, follow it, love it.

It may sound as though I worship my bottoms. In some way, I do. It is the god, cut down. And I am the goddess that snaps the cord. It is the same drama, played out, over and over again, the drone bee dies, the glass already broken, the body whose only mission is sacrifice.

Sacrifice. The roots of the word mean to make holy. And if you ever stand before that shadow with the star inside, you cannot be anything but holy. Sacrifice is a mystery. It always has been. A candidate sacrifices and is made a witch. Kneel, and be changed.

Mysteries will always only be known to those who participate. And every Feri witch has that opportunity. For those who think that power is dominance, they are missing something. And they suffer unbearably for this. I think this is when power can get twisted for a witch, when they forget that they are in service. A witch on his knees is a powerful force, but a force harnessed and directed.

I think I'm almost ready to write something.
linkReply

Comments:
From: nytemuse
2008-01-26 02:54 am (UTC)
I don't know that we really understand will. We tend to think of it more as desire. In Diamond Heart/Ridhwan they talk about it as the Himma. The part of the soul that works toward its own liberation. Nothing can stop it or stand in its way. I think of it in those times when I really don't want to do something that needs to be done. I know I will do it, because I must, because I have no choice. Strangely enough, this is often the opposite of how many Feris think of will, as choice. But in those moments when you must follow your will, you know this mystery. That you must follow it. You cannot betray your true will. It will not let you.

Wouldn't this be yet another oh-so-popular Feri paradox? *wry g* Sounds perfectly apt to me, and I completely understand and agree.

In a truly good synced scene, there is no real script or roles...you're not pretending to play that part, you are that part, fully and wholly. It's similar to the chaos magick paradigm shift.

I have been very much enjoying this line of posts in your LJ and hope you do get around to writing that article. I would very much enjoy reading it.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: eldriwolf
2008-01-26 07:14 pm (UTC)
>>>A submissive is not powerless. They are power.
It is as though the bottom generates the power and the top directs it. Receptive and Directive.<<<

***I seem to remember something of this from the hindi stuff---the Shakti is/has the power the god directs---but---memory fails....


One of the things I got from the ancestors, is that we (Feri) were "terrible slaves"--(I got the feeling that was a Pun) and "excellent servants"--(unmatchable, unsurpassed?---one of those not-english words)
Our pride, in choosing where we submit...

It is the Gift---And the *Accepting* of the gift. Together.
---To 'Receive-with-grace' is the *Necessary* other part of Giving, and a skill too few learn

Thank you for your thoughts...
Good Hunting!
eldri
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: lilairen
2008-01-26 08:34 pm (UTC)
***I seem to remember something of this from the hindi stuff---the Shakti is/has the power the god directs---but---memory fails....

That's accurate to my recollection of my reading of Shaivite Hinduism (I've done a lot more reading about Shiva than anyone else, so I can't speak about any of the other branches with any real knowledge). But Shiva/Shakti is that pairing, anyway ...

There's something similar in Egypt, with Ra and the Eyes of Ra -- the goddesses have the vital power, the energy, and if the Eye wanders off or runs away, Ra becomes weak and feeble and vulnerable.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: seyewailo
2008-01-27 01:00 am (UTC)
Such a good point. I've had people thank me profusely for being able and willing to accept the gift. It's not as easy as it looks.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: yezida
2008-01-28 07:57 pm (UTC)
"I don't see my being a witch to be about constantly doing spells and imposing my will on the world. My will is the world. I stand on the cliff and listen in the wind, until I can find where the flow is, see the current. Then I jump on. Every spell is simply a different cliff. I find that I can do little by force, and everything by listening."

Yep. That is why cultivation of stillness practice is so important to me: One cannot be powerful if she cannot listen.



(Feri witches have criticized your D/s work? Huh. I just find it an interesting and different viewpoint that I can hopefully learn from - hence my request for these fabulous thoughts of yours! My impression is that people heavily involved in BDSM are actively looking at power and its dynamics, which is something that is of interest, I would think, to Feri practitioners).
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: knittingwoman
2008-01-29 01:26 pm (UTC)
I hope you do write something. Your post sent shivers down my spine.
(Reply) (Thread)
From: femmahaze
2008-02-04 07:01 pm (UTC)
Ideas about power and sex and relationship I'd never considered before laid out before me in a way that is beautiful and makes sense. I'd tried to understand you as a Domme, with my very limited knowledge of D/s relationships, and tried to fit that into my perception of you as a loving force (not a brutal one), and I find that, once again, the dominant culture has warped something it does not approve of or understand into something it is not.

I thank you.
(Reply) (Thread)